Spock and Kirk Shoot A Commercial
by SpirkTrekker42
Summary: Spock and Kirk promote Star Trek cereal! As silly as it sounds. Spock has trouble conveying the emotion he needs to do the commercial. Can Kirk convince him otherwise? K/S slash.


Disclaimer: Kirk, Spock, and McCoy belong to Gene Roddenberry and Paramount. Star Trek cereal belongs to Kellogg's.

A/N: My attempt at Star Trek slashy humor. This works for Spock 1.0 (Nimoy) and Kirk 1.0 (Shatner) as well as Spock 2.0 (Quinto) and Kirk 2.0 (Pine). And yes, I have eaten Star Trek cereal. On the contrary to this, it's actually quite tasty. This all stems from my sister buying me Star Trek cereal and I had this random idea about Kirk and Spock promoting it. My sister and I might actually make this commercial if it is well-received. Maybe. We'll see.

This // denotes telepathic thoughts between K and S.

_Kirk and Spock Shoot A Commercial_

Director: Annnnnd, action!!

(The bridge of the starship_ Enterprise_ comes into view. Everyone is at their respective stations. ) Suddenly, First Officer Spock doubles over in pain!

Captain Kirk: *notices first* Spock!! Are you alright?

Spock: …

Kirk: Spock, speak to me!

Spock: *quiet moan*

Kirk: Is it Pon Farr again? *hopeful*

Spock: *wince* Worse, Captain! I forgot to eat breakfast…. For three weeks straight!

Kirk: *frantically calls McCoy* Kirk to sickbay. BONES! Spock hasn't eaten breakfast in THREE WEEKS and he's about to die. I can't make decisions by myself. WHAT DO I DO?!

Dr. McCoy: (off screen) Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a nutritionist.

Kirk: …

Spock: Jim, my stomach burns! *channels Amanda Bynes* It BURNNNNNS!

Kirk: Hang on, Spock!

Spock: Quick, just give me something to eat! Captain, what do you normally eat for breakfast?

Kirk: *devilish smirk* You?

Spock: *eyebrow raise*

.~.

Director: CUT! *glares at Kirk* Stop trying to be funny, will ya?

Kirk: Sorry. *grin* I just can't help myself sometimes. //After all, you are my bondmate! I am yours, Spock.//

Spock: *affectionate gaze* //And you are mine, Jim. Never forget it.//

Director: *eyeroll* Let's take it from the top. And, ACTION!

.~.

Kirk: Hang on, Spock!

Spock: Just give me something to eat! Captain, what do you eat for breakfast?

Kirk: *pushes button on command chair* (A large, dark blue cereal box pops up from a secret compartment.) *turns to the camera and gives THAT smile*

The captain of a starship requires a special breakfast to give him or her the energy to face the dangers of exploring uncharted space. I never go a morning without eating… STAR TREK CEREAL! Here, Spock, try some.

Spock: *pours himself a bowl and takes a bite * (He turns to face the camera.)

A most sufficient form of sustenance, Captain.

Kirk: *smacks forehead*

.~.

Director: CUT! *glares at Spock* What the hell are you doing?

Spock: *shrug* I'm merely stating a fact.

Director: I really wish you wouldn't! Stick to the script next time!

Spock: I will do my best.

(His expression remains the same, but Kirk knows better. The director has wounded Spock's pride. He has felt it through their bond. What an overly critical director! After all Spock was only stating the truth.)

Kirk: *gazes at Spock* //It's all right, t'hy'la. Once we finish this commercial, I'll get you some_ real_ food.//

Spock: //Does this perhaps involve whipped cream and strawberries?//

Kirk: *grins* //How did you guess?//

Spock: //I merely relied on past experience. You are rather predictable, Jim.// *mental hug*

Kirk: *mental hug*

Director: Earth to Kirk and Spock! Can we get back to shooting now, or must you continue your love fest? *joking*

(Kirk and Spock share a knowing look reserved only for the other and prepare to continue shooting.)

Director: ACTION!

.~.

Kirk: I never go a morning without eating… STAR TREK CEREAL! Here, Spock, try some.

Spock: *pours himself a bowl and takes a bite * (He smiles but it is rather forced and comes out looking like he's in pain.) *monotone* Yum. This tastes great. I love it. Everyone should eat this.

Kirk: *shakes head* Spock, you sure know how to sell a product. //You make me laugh, T'hy'la!//

Spock: *eyebrow raise* //Indeed. That was not my intent but I am glad you are amused. That cereal has the most disgraceful taste.//

.~.

Director: CUT! *furious* Spock, you're acting like a robot up there! Put some emotion into it.

Spock: *frown*

Kirk: He's Vulcan! You can't just expect him to show his emotions just like that! It's difficult for him. Let me try. *turns to Spock* //The sooner we finish shooting the commercial, sooner we can leave. And then once we are alone I will take you so ha…//

Spock: //Understood, Jim.// *blush*

Kirk: He's ready, Mr. Director!

Director: But you didn't say anything to him!

Kirk: *smirk* Oh, but I did.

Director: O.o Whatever. Take it from the last scene. And, action!

.~.

Kirk: *winning smile* I never go a morning without eating… STAR TREK CEREAL! Here, Spock, try some.

Spock: (The Vulcan smiles, but only for Kirk.) Yum! This tastes great! I love it! Everyone should eat this!

Kirk: *smug* Once again I have saved my //bondmate// First Officer from certain death. And it was all thanks to Star Trek cereal – part of this complete breakfast!

Spock: A most logical deduction, //T'hy'la// Captain.

.~.

Director: And, cuuuuuut! (Turns to Kirk and Spock.) That was fabulous, guys! Whatever you said to him must've worked, Kirk.

Spock: Indeed.

Kirk: And now, if we are finished, I will fulfill that promise.

Spock: *shivers with anticipation* //Kaiidith, Jim, do not tease me.//

Director: *oblivious* We're finished. My boss is going to be so pleased with this! Imagine, a happy Vulcan in a commercial! And all thanks to Star Trek cereal… (Walks away mumbling to himself.)

Kirk: *turns to Spock* //Your room or mine?//

Spock: //I could care less, as long as I don't have to eat that cereal again!//

Kirk: //Don't worry, Spock, I have better things for you to eat.//

Spock: //Jim, does this mean that you are part of my complete breakfast?//

Kirk: *grins* //Why, Spock, I'm honored.//

(They return to the real _Enterprise_, hand in hand.)

THE END!

A/N: Feedback is appreciated. I have no idea if I can write slash humor or not, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. *shrug*

Everyone, go see Star Trek, in theatres MAY 8th! It's going to be AMAZING! Live long and prosper!


End file.
